Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
