just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
