Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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