Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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