I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
