and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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