I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
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