have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
