I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
