I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
id be glad to
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
