question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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