You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
