She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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