I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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