I'm drive I can fine osifer
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
