Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
