So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
