I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
