So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize