I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
