According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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