I can't watch pbs sober anymore
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize