Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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