I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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