how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
