dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
