I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
