i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
