There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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