just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
