I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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