ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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