is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I see more hoeing in ur future
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