That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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