New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Randomize
