I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize