Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
is it fun? or sober?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
