Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
