So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
