I need help removing her.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
