I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
