Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
