i just made my gag reflex go away.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize