Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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