I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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