Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
