hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
