I'm pants shitting drunk right now
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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