I didn't shave. On purpose
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
