What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
