I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
