pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
